More impact. More message - Discover NLP (Hints and Tips)
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a communication approach which can transform your impact and your ability to communicate. Here Anthony Landale outlines the fundamentals.
If you were advised to work on your communication to others, how would you go about it? Would you try to develop your Powerpoint presentation skills? Pay more attention to the way you write emails? Be clearer in what you tell people in your team to do?
You may end up doing all of these things, but the truth is that when it comes to communicating with other people it’s not what you say, it’s the response you get that is all important. With this in mind I’m going to outline four key skills which NLP experts say are central to this issue. Master these and you will massively improve the impact you make on your clients and your colleagues.
1. How do you filter information?
One NLP perspective suggests that when you are communicating to people they are filtering your message through their visual, auditory or kinaesthetic senses. So, for example, some in your audience will be looking for the big picture, others will want to hear your argument or get a clear feel for what you are talking about.
For professional communicators and business executives alike this has real implications. If, for example, you are trying to sell an idea to someone who is primarily visual then what would you do? The answer would be to include more graphical content in your proposal and paint a picture of the outcome that you envisage. But if your client is auditory you may want to talk through your ideas with them and ensure they are on the same wavelength. The skill is to become aware of what vocabulary you, and they, are using and adjust your language to match theirs.
See if you can identify your filters by noticing what vocabulary you use and how this relates to visual, auditory or kinaesthetic preferences. Once you know what language you tend to use try to adjust your vocabulary to match the terms which others are using.
2. Rapport builds relationship
Relationships are critical to communication. If people are trying to communicate with us we want to feel that they are being honest and open and that we can trust them. To help achieve this NLP, emphasises the need for communicators to build deep rapport with their audience. The skills involved here aren’t difficult to grasp but they are often overlooked by those who think that what they have to say matters more than what people hear. The opposite is closer to the truth.
So if you want to build deep rapport you need to be sensitive to the needs of others. This means taking account of where they are and what they need, listening to them and showing empathy. In other words you are pacing the situation before leading people in the conversation you want to have with them. This may sound like a slow way of getting your communication across to people but without this relationship they may well be closed to what you have to say. You need them on your side before you can expect to win them over.
In your next meeting or 1:1 consciously build the relationship before getting onto the agenda. Take time to find out how they are and what is important for them and notice how this affects your communication.
3. Develop different perspectives
The third NLP technique to consider if you want to improve your communication is to learn to see the world from different points of view.
Most people only see the world through their own everyday reality. But this can make for tunnel vision. More powerful communicators learn to consider the message they want to get across from the perspective of the other person i.e. how it would land. And by metaphorically stepping into someone else’s shoes, communicators can get completely different insights into what matters and what might get in the way of their message. Indeed when there are difficult issues to communicate or resolve, NLP also suggests that people learn to detach from both their own situation and that of their audience and find a ‘fair witness’ position - an especially useful place to go when what is required is an objective view.
The power of having this choice of perspectives is that when you are trying to get new ideas or proposals accepted. It can be very powerful to take into account your audience’s current view and their readiness for your message.
Consider time when you found it difficult to get your message across to someone. What do you think their perspective was on you? If you were in their shoes what would have made the message easier to hear and take on board?
4. Walk the talk
Finally in order to communicate powerfully you need to be congruent. This means that your words, the way you say them and your belief in what you are saying must all be aligned.
How many times do we hear messages from directors, managers and sales staff which don’t ring true. In such situations we are reading the person. Do they believe what they are saying or are they saying what they’ve been told to say? Do we believe in them?
This is important. You are the message and the way you are ‘being’ is what people will take away with them. If your audience picks up any unease, anxiety or false enthusiasm then that will override any communication you are trying to get across.
Think of a time when you were wholly committed to something in word, mind and deed. How easily did you talk about it? What was your impact on other people? Now compare that to a time when you communicated something you were only half hearted about.
The above foundations lie at the heart of NLP communication. If you have these in place then you will know they make an extraordinary difference to communication. If you don’t, then now is the time to find out more about how NLP can improve your impact.
Our Effective Communication with NLP course is available to organisations that have a group or team of individuals to train. Find out more here.
Tags: Effective Communication With NLP (Training), Hints and Tips, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Presentation techniques, Verbal Communication